Hiding in Shadows

More and more I feel as if I do nothing but hide in the shadows. This is both in my personal life and in my fantasy life as well. For several weeks I have allowed a friend of mine to come stay with me. Now its not like at my house its only me here. There is also my sister with her three kids and my mother. But I digress you see my friend needed a place to stay with her kids. So being the kind of friend that I am I spent hours convincing everyone else here to let her, her children and of course the dead beat she calls her boyfriend to come stay. Now at first things though extremely cramped has worked okay. Once shower schedules had been made of course. Lately though...its been nothing but hell. My friends boyfriend..lets call him Joe. Is a total asshole. If things do not go his way he pouts like a small child. He refuses to work but chose instead to go to school. Okay while yes this is commendable. He has since complained each and everyday of how hard it is. How he wants to now quit it and find work. Though when he gets a job he does same thing in a couple of weeks and quits that as well. My friend has to support him, her children and of course his son from a previous marriage. Now this ...teen is nothing but a pain in the ass. Sorry but if he is the sign of what today youth is going to become. Give me a gun to end it all now.

So as you can see home life..insane. Work for me right now is even harder. With everyone here and doing a day care to boot. Its stressful to say the least. Personal life..oh boy. Okay to say that I am in a pickle is a bit of a understatement. I have a boyfriend who lives in Virgina right now. Keep in mind he is 21 to my 33. Not only that but we have yet to meet. The one time I tried to go see him I suffered panic attacks and to top it off was mugged. Now its highly doubtful that we ever shall meet. He has done stated that he will not and I quote "wait forever" so if I do not go see him..its over. So I wait for him to leave me. Why not just dump him? Simply I..yes in my moment of brilliance promised not to break up with him unless it was face to face. Cam does not count though. So I am stuck waiting for the inevitable. Its not like that I did not know this relationship was doomed from the start. It has several flaws. One..age difference, two.. he hates kids and I love them, three.. his main priorities in life is pot and gaming on X box, four..when he asked me out I kid you not he asked me to get my answer just after dumping his old girlfriend. Then told me to hold onto that thought as he waits for the answer from a couple of others he asked the very same thing from. A few hours later he came back and said "I love you and your my girlfriend." Yea a real inspirational and loving moment. NOT! He flirts with everything with tits, and calls every girl lover or love. Not that I am a jealous person but that even for me is a bit much. He also lies about talking to some and hides relationships with other woman. Who he says are only "friends" okay again trying my very best to not be one of those girlfriends.

All my friends say to dump him even a ex girlfriend of his who thinks and knows he is nothing but no good. But am bound by my promise.

Now I have a friend lets call him...Jhonny. Now he and I have been talking for awhile. While he is only a little closer in age. He still lives in a different state than I do. While unlike the other he is willing to come to see me. Even take me as in escort me to where he lives and back. So I do not have another panic attack as I try to travel. Jhonny has not once asked for any nude images, dirty talk, money, or anything. He simply wants me for me. Now this also scares the shit out of me. I mean come on my track record with men..lets say I hit lower then the bottom of that barrel. I want to trust him and just say screw it all, break my word and leap blindly into his arms. Yet I am terrified to do so as well. What if he is just as bad as every other ass in my life. What if this is just another smooth talker who will say what he needs to do to have me then once he does abuses me.

I can take a punch like a pro. No problem. Its this emotional shit that kills me.
*sigh* So yes I have no idea what to do anymore with anything. I cannot say what is in my mind or heart in fear of hurting others. Which is not something I want to do.

So am stuck hiding in these damn shadows. Until even the tiniest glimmer of light reaches out to me.

will I ever find
someone just for me
someone to call my own
someone I can kiss
cause that is something I sure do miss
Someone I can love
give my hole heart to
give my all to
someone I can be friends and lovers with
It seems I will just die
with this lonely heart
there has got to be
Someone Just For Me
I ache to be loved so bad
something I wished I had
if I had nothing else I would not care
as long as I had love there

Brought down as a gift from Heaven
Laid out so innocent and pure
One so young, with so much to give
Being taken away from those who need her

Not one single dry eye in this horrid smelling place
So cold, ... and clinical..
Family and friends huddled close together
Weeping and recounting tales of joy

With the sound of dying laughter
A broken sob cuts through the silence
A sorrow-filled wail, screaming .. in my head
Make it stop.. please.. someone.. make it stop

This sound of loneliness is just ringing in my ears
For some reason I cannot move, only stand off to the side
I watch those in the room, some sitting quietly, some chatting off about
Arrangements with the Director now being finalized

I feel a tug at the corner of my shirt, my imagination is running away with me
I don't want to be here, yet I can't make myself leave
Looking down at the small solemn face below, I can see the lack of understanding
Deep in those sea deep pools, that seem to be staring me through

I remember now, clear as day, as if it had only happened moments ago
Flooding memories come crashing through, breaking all the barriers I had erected
So long ago, I tried so hard, I had almost certainly forgotten
But what lies here now, is nothing I know
Vibrant and beautiful, amorous and funny
THESE are things that course through my veins
THESE are the memories that fill me now with loneliness
Desolation has now set in

Where do I go now..
What do I do..
Who is there to talk to..
That understands me like only you..

I am biting back the bitter tears that ache in the pit of my throat
I keep a solemn face to those who don't know me at all
A deep realization has now set in, You won't be there when I get home
Frustration and Guilt are deeply rooted within my being

There is something I forgot to tell you..
Ok Ok.. I didn't forget..but I put it off too long
I hope you're out there listening, in some way shape.. or form

I want to curl up, in a little ball
I don't want to face the world
It's cold and harsh, it's what I've come to live with
But you.. always.. made it bearable

I feel physical pain, deep inside
So deep, and I just can't reach it
I can't bring myself to shed a tear, and yet I feel my soul bleeding
Incomplete, and empty.. please.. please help me..
I don't want this ache to go away
I'm afraid to stop hurting, in case I forget
I am afraid to forget you,
Today for a moment, I forgot your face
I got really angry
I looked at you every day, and yet my mind couldn't draw your picture
I took out a photograph from only a week ago
...7 short days ago
Smiling brightly..
Your eyes were full of laughter
Surely you had pulled a prank
The sound of your laughter haunts me at night
When everything else is silent

I don't know if I can do this without you
You are one of the very few, that proved I could trust
The nasty things I pulled, just to see if you'd let go
The things I did to test you, to see if you'd slip away
Ample opportunity, boy, I gave you lots
But you pulled me closer, and you held me tighter
With your words, with your thoughts, with your kindness
You were the first person, to show me what kindness was you know
What it meant.. no strings attached
I don't think I've found another that could do as you've done
I pushed you as far away, as anyone could be
Yet the harder I pushed, the deeper rooted your heels
And you earned my respect, you earned my trust
From you, I learned patience, from you, I learned love

This is very hard, it's not easy at all..
I took you for granted, I assumed you would always be there
I took advantage of time, and I let myself be fooled
I thought .. I had forever..

I missed the signs that were directly in front of me
I wonder now .. how I could have been so blind
To feel your arms around me one more time, the ones I had turned away from
Too stubborn to accept that I needed.. that I wanted you close

I feel .. guilty.. for being left behind, and that you're gone
A sadness I can't even describe, the loneliness, too much to bear...
You.. were the one.. my God.. this is so.. fucking.. unfair
How can something so good, be taken..and me left behind

I feel.. so.. guilty.. for being alive, to be able to step outside, to enjoy the sunlight, to enjoy life, as dull as it is
I feel guilty..for being alive

You always looked deep inside, and managed to find some good
Leaving me with a comforting smile as you touched my cheek
You were made of magic, a true inspiration indeed
Never taking more credit than what was yours,
Never making more of a deal than what it was
Never seeking approval, just knowing it would be there
You always found a reason to laugh
Usually at yourself
I learned to love to laugh
You taught me to find the good, discard the bad
You taught me to have strong opinions, to stand for what I believe in
You taught me to stand up, even against my friends, against injustice.
You taught me pride, how to hold my head up, even when it was so heavy
You showed me how to take responsibility, for what was mine
You could have walked away
But you didn't
You could have turned your back
it was what I expected
You could have simply not cared
No one would have blamed you
You could have written me off as trash
I don't think I would have been disappointed
Instead you shocked me, and those around
You took me in, you gave me what I craved, what I needed, what I desired
and I didn't even know it at the time
I didn't know, that I wanted... that I needed, to be loved
and yet.. there it was
You showed me.. what "unconditional" meant"
You showed me.. that being wrong, wasn't bad
You showed me.. that I can learn from mistakes, and that I can move on
You showed me.. how to be my own person
You showed me.. that I didn't have to be everyone else's person, but that I was fine to be my own
You showed me.. that it was alright to like myself......


..............

In a way.. I'm glad
You will remain beautiful, patient .. and seemingly so untouched by life's harshness, for all of eternity
And that.. is what I'll remember..
You had that way about you, that nothing bothered you, nothing got you down
I loved that about you, your inner strength, your rebellious core, and yet, .. still maintaining a fragile.. sensitive....... touch

The touch of your fingers, damp.. from quickly drying them after doing dishes, thoughtlessly patting my head
The harshness of your voice as you called out a warning
The gruff but gentle way you had of making things alright
I can't find enough words to explain how wonderful you are
Or to voice out in the open, things I had buried for so long

I am so.. so.. sorry
Those words are so insignificant, they ring false, and empty
But I know.. if you were here, they'd be enough..
I know.. if you were here.. you'd offer a smile and scoop me up in a hug, that out of habit I would squirm away from, being "too cool" for that sort of thing
I know.. that if you were here..I'd be happy again
I can't promise that I wouldn't take advantage..
I just loved you too much to share
You were a constant, you were a rock, you were forever mine
You are the best friend.. I've ever had in my whole life..
Without you, I would have never learned what that was
Because of you, I understand..
I know that if you were here, you'd wave your hand and you'd dismiss it
You were humble, always.. but I never missed the sparkle in your eyes
I saw how it made you happy to hear
and I just never showed you in the ways I probably could have


What I do know, is that wherever you are, if there is a Heaven..
That You've returned home, and that you're the brightest star out every night
That you're the loudest boom of thunder in a storm
That you're the first raindrop to drop from the sky..
And that you're the rainbow that beautifies the receding storm

I hope.. that wherever you are..You aren't disappointed
I hope.. that you're proud..
I hope.. You're still smiling on me.

I love you.

We speak on the breath of winged messengers
Our souls touch in flights of fancy
The fates have set us before each other
To fulfill our secret desires
Let us hide ourselves from the outside world
Let us seek solace in our stolen moments
May our bodies combine to form as one
And our minds meld into cherished moments, never to be forgotten

You cut off my wings, and laughed at my pain
It mattered not their color, they were just there
You are angered that I miss them
Cant stand to see me grow them back
You rip and tear, each time they come
Happy to see me bleed for your cause
What is so bad about me?
Why do you hate me so?
I have done nothing to you
What are you so afraid of?
I know my happiness matters not
But why wont you let me be?
I cannot turn my dark wings light
I cannot do what you want me to do
I beg you, take me as I am or let me go
this fight shall never end
I ache to be free,
Where I can fly again

A prince, I think, is a king in training.
What better mate?
Than to fall for
and in with
a man who lives for the journey.

Hmmm...
sent Ithica, by Cavafy.
The forever lesson that
we orchestrate our journeys.
To embrace this responsibility,
I think,
is to have the power to melt the wall.
And be free
within any confine.

What better journeyman
to beside me?
Behold me
manage aid
and use me
as tool
to do the same
for himself and his journey.

What better romance?
Than an affair,
great in influence;
than the melding
of two journeys
even for a time.

Great love, I think...
is the invocation
of togetherness,
of posession and belonging,
the gift of creating a home
for the hearts and minds
of two adventurers...
nd adventure in its own right.

Brightly I burn
As in the dark I turn
Flying faster on my own feet
Than I have ever flown.
Brightly I burn
Into the night

Brightly I burn
As the world turns
I glow in the dark as it creeps through the forest.
I glow in the dark as it creeps through the meadows.
I will continue to burn until the hour is nigh
And upon my release, I will be doused

Brightly I burn
Though the world doesn't know
Hidden deep within the leering of flames
Brightly I burn
In the hopes that tomorrow
Will bring 'round the gentle wind that will soothe
Brightly I burn
And nightly I wait

When comes the morning I know
The time comes to turn off the rivers of flame
That burn brightly within my heart

In the grace of night unfettered
A thousand points of light
Burning across my vision
A thousand, thousand points

Alone in my room, in silence
Keeping my own secrets
Tasting my own breaths
Knowing, I am truly all alone

There are no arms to hold me
No whispers in my ear
No one to comfort me
There is no one here but me

Lying quiet, I begin to think
There's no I in "alone"
How many are there
Feeling the same as I do now?

So in the dark I close my eyes
Allowing just a spark
Sending up a signal
To dark corners of my mind

Drawn from deep in imagination
A picture of my love
In a room so far away
Waiting patiently for my whisper

"Tell me all your dreams," I say
"Show me imperfections."
Perfect love is boring
Perfect is keeping secrets silent

For the one waiting out there
This will be our secret
Bring your imperfections
And come lay beside me in the dark

1000 kisses

a thousand kisses I wish to send
to a thousand places on your skin.
trails of tender longing
weave like fine lace in my mind-
wrapping it's ghost like caress around you.
I yearn to feel your touch on my skin,
within my heart.
in dreams my soul flies to where we will never part.
when I think of you I am happy.

Love letter

another contest where one i wrote and another one someone else did to mine
I just had to keep them


Dearest Clair,

As you know, my love, at times I cannot be the best with words. To prevent my loving rambles I will try to just express what I feel for you. Clair, I love you. I love every little thing about you. I love your cute smile, your magical eyes, and the sound of your voice. I love your gentle touch, and I love the warmth I feel when I�m by your side. I can't stop thinking about you when we are apart. I need you by my side. You complete me. You mean the world to me. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are the one I've always wished for. I never thought that I would ever meet someone as special as you. I love each and every moment I share with you. You have given me the greatest thing anyone ever could. You have given me the gift of your love and the love of our child.

The day you said you would marry me had to be the greatest moment of my life. Only to be tied by the news of our expecting child. Clair I love you more than words could ever express. When I try to think of a way to express how I feel for you I get annoyed with myself for not thinking of something better than 'I love you'. You deserve so much more than those three little words to express how I feel for you. But again when I try to think of something better three more words come to mind. 'As you wish'. Seeing your face light up as I say both sets of words brings me so much happiness and joy. You are my world Clair. I will cherish you always and forever.

Forever yours for as long as you wish,

Matthew




To my dear Prince Charming,

I guess one could say it's silly to write a love letter to you. For you truly do not know the extent of my feelings yet. But you see you are everything that is good in me. I see you my dear prince in my dreams, hear you in the breeze, and feel you in my heart. I know I have yet to really speak any of this out loud but I had to get it out before my heart burst.

I gather by now as you read this you are wondering what it is about you that I love so. Well my sweet prince come close and let me whisper the ways softly in your ear. You have a gentleness to you that I have never seen before. The day we first met in my shop and I flirted..well shamelessly I can admit. You did the most adorable thing I have ever seen..you blushed. When most males would have stuck out their chests or laid out a few choice suggestions themselves. You blushed and stammered at a complete loss of words. It showed me that you had a vulnerability that I have never seen before. It made me...protective of you. I think then I was already starting to fall but would never admit it. So when I heard you were being auctioned off for Valentines. What did I do? I dressed as Cinderella in of all things a white wedding gown and crystal shoes. I disguised myself beneath makeup and a mask, going so far as to even change what my voice sounded like to what I told myself at the time..save you from a woman who could hurt you. My plan was to simply win the date and leave but you convinced me in your charming way to at least stay for one dance.

As we moved over the dance floor I think then I started to fall for you even more. Was it the romance of the evening that caused such a thing? Or had cupid finally stuck his mark? I do not know but after I ran out of there (losing a shoe of all things) you were constantly in my mind. Hovering there in the shadows reminding me of your presence with each passing second. I was shocked to say the least when you found out it was me you danced with at the ball. On how well you took it. Later you gave me my first real sweet gift ever. A drawing of a tattoo you created. I loved it so much I framed it and set it in my home. You have stood by me threw the good times when I found out that I was carrying a child (though not one of your own) and held me threw some of my worst moments when my parents were killed and when I lost my son. Shown me that you would always be there for me. That for you I am more than a body to hang on your arm.


I told you once that I never knew softness,not until the moment you touched me in my shop.My life is violent and dangerous. It's dark and twisted and no place for someone like you. I have more people wanting me dead then I can count. They will stop at nothing, and you...you are the one thing that makes me weak. I have since found out how wrong my words are. You do not make me weak. You are my strength and without you I am not sure where I would be.

I feel so safe when you hold me close in your arms. I know that nothing could ever harm me as long as I am there. I want you to know that if you are ever in need know you can call upon me day or night and I will be there for you. I support you totally in whatever you may choose to do. That I love you today and tomorrow and nothing/no one could ever cause me to stray.

I know you were not my "first" but there are so many other firsts that we have and can share together. My first real dance we have already shared. Though we can still have my first real date, our first song. and my first real taste of tenderness. Those are just a few of the many firsts that I know we will someday share.

I shall close this letter now in hopes that one day you will read this. I am unsure if I am brave enough to give it to you yet but someday.

You are what makes my dreams come true
My happily ever after.

Analisse

Twist a song

Recently at a RPG I run we did a contest for twisting a song
these were the entries and I simply chose to post them here
due to not wanting to lose them.

AceGirl:

HOLLOWS GIRLS.
Twisted Version of Katy Perry's California Girls

[Guy]
Greetings RPers
Let's take a journey

[Girl]
I know a place
Where the sky is really darker
Cold, feared, and wild
There must be somethin' in the water
Sippin' blood and juice
Layin' underneath the skyline(Undone)
The boys
Break their necks
Try'na creep a little sneak peek (At us)

You could travel the world
But nothing comes close
To the Hollow's coast
Once you RP with us
You'll be falling in love
Oooooh oh oooooh


Hol-lows girls hell yeah!
We're unforgettable
Long white fangs
and some Shapeshifters
Some fire-breathed
So hot
We'll melt your Popsicle
Oooooh oh oooooh

Hol-lows girls hell yeah!
We're undeniable
Fine, fucking fierce
We got it on lock
Hol-lows represent
Now put your claws up
Oooooh oh oooooh

Sex in the Towers
Some don't mind your business
We'll freak
Till we sleep
What's our name you might never know(Oh oh)

You could travel the world
But nothing comes close
To the Hollow's coast
Once you RP with us
You'll be falling in love
Oooooh oh oooooh

Hol-lows girls hell yeah!
We're unforgettable
Long white fangs
and some Shapeshifters
Some fire-breathed
So hot
We'll melt your Popsicle
Oooooh oh oooooh

Hol-lows girls hell yeah!
We're undeniable
Fine, fucking fierce
We got it on lock
Hol-lows represent
Now put your claws up
Oooooh oh oooooh

[Guy]
Toned, turned
Fit and ready
Turn it up 'cause it's gettin' heavy
Wild, wild Hollow's coast
These are the girls I love the most
I mean the ones
I mean like she's the one
Bite her
Turn her
Squeeze her buns

These girls are freaks
It's blood some eat
and work it on the street
I don't know
If I should go
Where the whores are lined in row
Just love it here
Just love it there
This is Hollows
Don't you know

Lycans, Vamps
Hangin' out
All them girls
Hangin' out
Fangs, fur, humans too
No weaklings
let's rondevous

And down the street
there's a chance you'll meet
the one that's right for you
(Yeah)
The girls are fine
(Uh huh)
Their all divine
I know cause it's Hollows time
(Ohhh yeahh)

[Girl]
Hol-lows girls hell yeah!
We're unforgettable
Long white fangs
and some Shapeshifters
Some fire-breathed
So hot
We'll melt your Popsicle
Oooooh oh oooooh

Hol-lows girls hell yeah!
We're undeniable
Fine, fucking fierce
We got it on lock
Hol-lows represent
Now put your claws up
Oooooh oh oooooh

[Both]
(Hollllooows, Holllooows)
Hollows girls man
I wish they all could RP
Like Hollows girls
(Holllooows) (oh oh oh oh oh)
I really wish
You all could RP
Like them Hollows girls
(Holllooows, girls)




BlackHeartTragedy:


SINISTER
Twisted Version of "Rockstar" by Nickelback


I’m through requestin’ roleplayin’ in the cults I’m in
It’s like I’m waiting forever just to begin
This isn’t the life
I wanted for my Chari
(What ya gonna do?)

I went to Hollows Colorado and met Mayor Christy
And found out she was oh-so pretty
And she told me
I didn’t have to wait to write
(Yeah, so did she bite?)

I went to the Underground and it was the shit
It had a badass club with an armory in it
Gonna get a damn sexy guy
And have some fun at Loki’s
(Been there, done that)

I want a brand new business full of old cars
Or my own home where I can get it on
Somewhere between Kat
And Matthew is fine for me
(So how you gonna do it?)

I’m gonna trade this life
For fortune and fame
I’d even get some powers
And change my name

‘Cause we all just wanna be immortals
And live in big-ass houses, flyin’ really far
The girls come easy and the blood comes cheap
We’ll all stay skinny cause of immortality

And we’ll hang out in the coolest clubs
In the VIP with the Kingpin studs
Every wannabe vamps gonna wind up there
Every RPer with her raven black hair

And well, hey, hey, I wanna be sinister
Hey, hey, I wanna be sinister

I wanna be great like Edward without the sparkles
Avoid police officers that love us behind bars
Bribe a couple dumbasses
So I can have everything for free
(I’ll have a Bloody Mary, ha, ha.)

I’m gonna dress my ass with a fetish fashion
Get a front door key to the Kingpin’s mansion
Gonna date an assassin that loves
To kill my rivals for me
(So how you gonna do it?)

I’m gonna trade this life
For fortune and fame
I’d even get some powers
And change my name

‘Cause we all just wanna be immortals
And live in big-ass houses, flyin’ really far
The girls come easy and the blood comes cheap
We’ll all stay skinny cause of immortality

And we’ll hang out in the coolest clubs
In the VIP with the Kingpin studs
Every wannabe vamps gonna wind up there
Every RPer with her raven black hair

And we’ll hide out in the torture rooms
With the latest dictionary of goody two-shoes
They’ll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody’s got Pusher’s Lair on speed dial.
Well, hey, hey, I wanna be sinister

I’m gonna get jail time for bad behavior
Gonna pop my pills from a Pez dispenser
Get off easy for bribing’ the jury
Every single cop is gonna feel my fury

Well, we all just wanna be immortals
And live in big-ass houses, flyin’ really far
The girls come easy and the blood comes cheap
We’ll all stay skinny cause of immortality

And we’ll hang out in the coolest clubs
In the VIP with the Kingpin studs
Every wannabe vamps gonna wind up there
Every RPer with her raven black hair

And we’ll hide out in the torture rooms
With the latest dictionary of goody two-shoes
They’ll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody’s got Pusher’s Lair on speed dial.

Well, hey, hey, I wanna be sinister
Hey, hey, I wanna be sinister



darkestangel17:

Twisted Version.Of Paul Van Dyk's.
New York City.

Hollows City Night.


I watch the sky turn black to blush
Head still spinning from the rush
Of all the things I did the night before

And looking down from my Atop my Tomb
These dawn lit streets begin to fill
With memories of you and I

On a Hollows City night
On a Hollows City night

I shake my head to clear the sounds
The traffic horns, the growing crowd
Sun awaking over Ray Park

Still it creeps beneath my Lycan skin
All of these heartbeats in the din
With concrete dreams stirring to life

On a Hollows City night
On a Hollows City night

And I take it with me when I leave
The crowded skyline, the energy
Sleepless city always leaves its mark

Just close my eyes and I'm back again
The neon flush upon our skin
Still wrapped in thoughts of love Wine and Blood

On a Hollows City night
On a Hollows City night

On a Hollows City night


On a Hollows City night
On a Hollows City night

And I take it with me when I leave
The crowded skyline, the energy
Sleepless city always leaves its mark

Just close my eyes and I'm back again
The neon flush upon our skin
Still wrapped in thoughts of love Wine and Blood

On a Hollows City night
On a Hollows City night

On a Hollows City night




CursedAngel :

Original "Strength Of The World" by Avenged Sevenfold.
Strength Of Our The Words (Bet'chya I lose xD)
My story starts the day they said "pros can't be found"
the news so dark, heart stopped, stood silent without a sound
It's over, they've found, live the characters, become a hellhound
Cold-blooded, they're created, shot down by the god-modders after you
Bastard god-modders...

Strength of the world! - is on my shoulders
Strength of the world! - is on my side
Strength of the world! - the one true beholder
Ice in my veins! - for those who've died

I've seen my family be written, so they shall stay.
There's nothing left to say

Homicidal, determined lets fight fight fight!
Suicidal, they never come back.
I want it, I need it, words run from my fingers
Need words, to feel power, and bring the one-liners down.
No time to lose, fun to gain (you know it'll never be the same)
So taste the breath they be closing in one you. (so desperate on your final character)
Hollows swallows my boredom

Strength of the words! - is in my characters
Strength of the words! - is in the details
Strength of the words! - the true reader
Ice in my veins! - for those who god-modded.

I've seen my free time fade away, you've taken my hobbies away.
There's nothing left to say

Sitting in silence with the sound of typing keys I know what I do next... Hit submit
While I search for ideas I exhausted them.
I can't turn my eyes away.
I type before you, I'll kill 'em off when I have to.
But now I let them hide, to let them all regroup.

I've seen my free time fade away, you've taken my hobbies away.
There's nothing left to say

Strength of the words! - is in my characters
Strength of the words! - is in the details
Strength of the words! - the true reader
Ice in my veins! - for those who god-modded.

So far forever now they have families, no more one night stands...
A killed character falling from the forums, I miss my fallen, I'll never be a douche again.

This is all we write.



paultheperv6 :

Be My Vampire.Twisted Version of the toadies Possum kingdom.

Make up your mind
Decide to walk with me
Around Hollows tonight
Around the Hollows tonight
By my side
By my side
I'm not gonna lie
I'm not a Human as I said.
Behind the Blac sky Inferno
I'll show you my dark secret

I'm not gonna lie
I want you for mine
My Fellow Vampire
My Vampire, My undead love,my lover, yeah...

Don't be afraid
I didn't mean to scare you
So help me, I wont hurt you

I can promise you
You'll stay as beautiful
With dark hair
And sharp fang's...forever
Forever

Make up your mind
Make up your mind
And I'll promise you
I will treat you well
My sweet Little killer
So help me, My dark one

(hey, hey, hey)

Give it up to me
Give it up to me
Do you wanna be
My Vampire?
So help me!

Be my angel

Be my angel

Do you wanna die?

I promise you
I will treat you well
My sweet Vampire
Stay be my side in Hollows....Forever
Forever.here In Hollows

Hollows

Hollows

Hollows...




Tsuchi_kun :


* original song...... Dani California*

Getting born in the town of HOllows
Poppa was a vampire and my momma was a demon
In Hollows she would swing a daggers
Price you gotta pay when you break the panorama
She never knew that there was anything more than poor
What in the world does your company take me for?

Black bandanna, sweet hollows
Robbin' on all the bank in the state of Colorado
She's a runner, rebel and a stunner
On her merry way saying baby what you gonna
Lookin' down the barrel of a hot metal.45
Just another way to survive

CHorus

Hollows rest in peace
Simultaneous release
Hollows bare your teeth
She's my Officer, I'm your criminal
Yeah, yeah

She's a lover, baby and a fighter
Should've seen her coming when it got a little brighter
With a name like Ellamesa
Day was gonna come when I was gonna mourn ya
A little lonely she was stealing another breath
I love my baby to death

Chorus:

Hollows rest in peace
Simultaneous release
Hollow bare your teeth
She's my Mayor, I'm your citizen
Yeah, yeah

Who knew the other side of you
Who knew what others died to prove
Too true to say goodbye to you
Too true, too say say say

Push the fader, gifted animator
One for the now and eleven for the later
Never made it past Hollows
Colorado man was a gunnin' for the quota
Down in the badlands she was saving the best for last
It only hurts when I laugh
Gone too fast

Chorus:

Hollows rest in peace
Simultaneous release
Hollows show your teeth
She's my priestess, I'm your priest
Yeah, yeah

Hollows rest in peace
Simultaneous release
Hollows bare your teeth
She's my priestess, I'm your priest
Yeah, yeah

Crest/Motto/Description of Self/Mission Statement

Not everyone has a family that..well...is one that is particulary healthy for them.
Mine is one of them
 Someone told me that I should just ignore all of them and simply
 be your own family.
By making a crest, motto, mission statement for yourself.


So that is what I thought I would do.
At times it really has helped me get threw the day.

I thought I would share mine.
I also added a Description of Self.
Keep in mind that can change over the years as your grow and change.

Also I cannot draw if my life depended on it.
So I have to describe what I want it to look like.



Thank you Glowstick_Injection/Ember for bringing my crest to life

Crest~

Backdrop- A full moon
Forground- A raven in flight with a blood red rose with thorns wrapped around the bird.
Top- a ribbon that says "Per aspera ad astra"




Motto~

Per aspera ad astra - "through the thorns to the stars"



Description of self~

I am a 33 yr old dorviced mother of 4 (children are deceased but I still consider myself a mother ). I suffer from bipolar disorder, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and severe low self esteem. I have been physically, sexually, and emotionally abused in my life. My life has been a hard one. I have attempted suicide once in my life. I have never abused drugs or alcohol but am surrounded by those who do most of my life. I've always lived in constant struggle. I am learning through therapy and medication how to cope and function with my past and present difficulties.



Mission Statement~


To enjoy every moment in my journey through life. Finding laughter, love, and happiness with each day that passes. To take away the fear of living, by showing how to tap in to my wisest self and make my life happier and easier. To connect to the love that is eternal, that is the reason for all our existence. To work continuously on my personal development from basic values and virtues. To discover who I am and to inspire myself to reach my full potential. To remember where I have been and where I will go through maintaining positive relationships with family and friends. To find peacefulness within myself by looking inward while using my heart to guide my dreams and desires, and my mind to pursue knowledge, creating balance among all my obligations. Finally to content myself in my surroundings. So I will always know where security lies within myself.

Eggnog Cheesecake

Ingredients:

1 cup graham cracker crumbs
1 envelope unflavored gelatin
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
8 oz. cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup sugar
1 cup eggnog
1/4 cup butter, melted
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup cold water
1 cup heavy whipping cream, whipped

Directions:

1. Combine crumbs, nutmeg, sugar, nutmeg and butter; press onto bottom of 9-inch springform pan.

2. Soften gelatin in water; stir over low heat until dissolved. Combine cream cheese and sugar, at
medium speed on electric mixer until well blended. Gradually add eggnog and gelatin, mixing until well blended.

3. Chill until slightly thickened then fold in whipped cream. Pour into crust; refrigerate until firm.

A New Beginning

Just like everything in life something eventually comes to a end. Either by choice or design it does not matter. We grow and evolve everyday. For quite awhile I have been using one of my favorite web sites Journal area to talk about what may be going on in my life, recipes, jokes and more. Now in no way am I saying I will not continue to do so. I am just choosing to take it in a different direction.

To start fresh and new in a place that I am hidden in shadows in. A place where I can keep my thoughts and feelings without the worry of it being removed or simply vanishing without a trace.

So here we go
A new beginning